Memorial Service for Lura Faye Hoel
11:00am Friday July 26, 2013
Journey Fellowship, Selma, Texas
11:00am Friday July 26, 2013
Journey Fellowship, Selma, Texas
Memorial Video
Many thanks to Kenneth Kruger for
helping me with this tribute.
Would you like to download any or all of the photos in the memorial video? Go to:
Lura Faye Hoel Memorial Service Message
Text:
John 11:21-46
John 11:25-26: ‘Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and
the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, 26 and everyone who lives and believes in Me will
never die. Do you believe this?”’
When we hear the phrase ‘do you believe this?’ we think
there are but two responses YES or NO. But there are actually three responses.
(1)
NO, I don’t really believe what the Bible says but I’m open
to being a spiritual person
(2) Yes, I believe this in my head and in my religious practice. I’ve been raised in a Christian, attend church, been baptized, I take communion, I have a Bible in my home
(3) Yes, I believe this in my heart and have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Jesus is told of the death of Lazarus, one of his best friends during the three year period of time He was on earth.
11 Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. 2 It was the Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick. 3 So the sisters sent word to Him, saying, “Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick.” 4 But when Jesus heard this, He said, “This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified by it.” 5 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6 So when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was. 7 Then after this He *said to the disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.”
Question: Why would Jesus go 19 miles
to the mountains of Judea, when we read a few verses later that Bethany (where
the sick Lazarus was) was only two miles away? This was to strengthen the faith
of those around Him.
17 So when Jesus came, He found that he had already been in the tomb four days.
18 Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles off; 19 and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary, to console them concerning their brother. 20 Martha therefore, when she heard that Jesus was coming, went to meet Him, but Mary stayed at the house.
Why did Mary stay in the house? We’ll find out later.
I read the John 11 verses to mom every day for the last few
weeks of her life. So, what kind of faith do you think mom professed? That’s rather personal, isn’t it? It
would be but her eternal destiny, according to the Bible, hung in the
balance.
None of us but God alone can know the human heart, so we’re
talking here about what faith mom professed and what the Bible said of that
faith.
For you and I to know the kind of faith mom professed, we
need to understand the three kinds of faith Jesus describes in John chapter 11:
Limited faith, fundamental faith and unlimited faith. Perhaps we’ll see ourselves in one of these
descriptions.
NO, I don’t really believe what the Bible says but I’m open to
being a spiritual person
II. Fundamental Faith v.23-24, 27
Yes, I believe this in my head and
in my religious practice. I’ve been raised as a Christian, attend church, been
baptized, I take communion, I have a Bible in my home
III.
Unlimited Faith v. 40, 45
Yes, I believe this in my heart and I have a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ.
I. First, Limited Faith - v.21-22, 46
NO, I don’t really
believe what the Bible says but I’m open to being a spiritual person. If
religion helped mom; well, good for her.
21 Martha
then said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have
died. 22 Even
now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.”
Yes, I believe this in
my head and in my religious practice. I’ve been raised as a Christian, attended
church, sometimes even Sunday school, been baptized, I take communion, I have a Bible in my home. I even use those
cute phrases, ‘I’m blessed, not stressed’. Isn’t that enough?
23 Jesus *said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”
24 Martha *said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.”
Martha knew, not by experience, but by having been taught a creed. Yes, there is a resurrection (there is a heaven) and I believe this (head) , but how did this impact her life(heart / actions)? She practiced the religion, but didn’t have the relationship.
It’s not something you do for God, but something you give to God – that’s what confessing means, to agree with God that you’re lost without Him and accepting what He did on the Cross to be enough to satisfy the huge sin debt we all owe.
Mom did that and it showed in how she lived her life and in how she died – as I mentioned at the graveside service on Long Island - trusting Christ to take her from here to the hereafter, from her last earthly breath to eternal life.
Religion, no matter how accurate, doesn’t allow a person the opportunity to live the life God intended, nor to be ready for the end of this short life.
25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, 26 and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?”
27 She *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; I have believed that You are [f]the Christ, the Son of God, even [g]He who comes into the world.”
Limited faith in the creeds of religion.
28 When she had said this, she went away and called Mary her sister, saying secretly, “The Teacher is here and is calling for you.” 29 And when she heard it, she *got up quickly and was coming to Him.30 Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha met Him. 31 Then the Jews who were with her in the house, and consoling her, when they saw that Mary got up quickly and went out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there. 32 Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”
Mary said the same thing as Martha, so how can we say she had unlimited faith?
33 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled, 34 and said, “Where have you laid him?” They *said to Him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus wept.
Jesus cared about his friend Lazarus. He cares about you and me. He taught us how to grieve the right way; grieve yes, but not as those who have no hope.
What are our expressions of grief?
1.
We cry
2. We ask ‘why?’
3.
We try to say something, when often
saying nothing is better
4.
We try to ‘fix the problem’ when God
asks us to let the person go through their grief, learning to trust Him
5.
We distance ourselves from the hurting
person, or, the hurting person distances themselves from us.
So how can we transform ‘grief’ into ‘faith’? – by trusting (in our hearts) the gospel message. God loves us. Sin has separated us from Him. Christ died for that sin. We need to personally trust what He did at the Cross to make us right with God.
The sure hope of the resurrection is what transforms grief, moving it from a present loss to a sure future hope.
36 So the Jews were saying, “See how He loved him!” 37 But some of them said, “Could not this man, who opened the eyes of the blind man, [i]have kept this man also from dying?”38 So Jesus, again being deeply moved within, *came to the tomb. Now it was a cave, and a stone was lying against it. 39 Jesus *said, “Remove the stone.” Martha, the sister of the deceased, *said to Him, “Lord, by this time [j]there will be a stench, for he has been dead four days.”
III.. Unlimited Faith v. 40, 45
Yes,
I believe this in my head and in my heart and I have a personal relationship with
Jesus Christ that affects the way I live and determines where I’ll be after I
die.
Here’s where here faith was really tested. Could Jesus really do something after four days in the grave? She agreed to have the stone removed.
It’s the same in our life. The way we respond to life’s challenges says a great deal about whether our faith is non-existent, limited (religiousness) or unlimited (genuine, living and growing).
I believe mom’s faith was the third kind: Genuine and growing. She came through the depression, grew a large family, overcame cancer some 36 years ago, became a widow at an early age, and left this world thankful for what she had and wanting to see Jesus. Can we explain it any other way?
Unlimited faith.: To know without seeing and to act upon what you know.
The question Martha had we all have. Can we really trust God to remove the stones in our lives, to help us to honestly face our own limitations and immortality, and to trust the God who made us with the most hidden parts of our life.?
40 Jesus *said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”41 So they removed the stone.
Finally, Martha consented to removing the stone. Her faith still needed strengthening, but she was on the right path.
Then Jesus raised His eyes, and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me.
42 I knew that You always hear Me; but because of the people standing around I said it, so that they may believe that You sent Me.” 43 When He had said these things, He cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth.” 44 The man who had died came forth, bound hand and foot with wrappings, and his face was wrapped around with a cloth. Jesus *said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”45 Therefore many of the Jews who came to Mary, and saw what He had done, believed in Him.
Mary was living her faith. We see that later on in chapter 12 when she anoints Jesus feet, using costly perfume. Judas protests that the money from the perfume could’ve been given to the poor, but Jesus responds, ‘Let her alone. For the poor you always have with you, but you do not always have Me.’
46 But some of them went to the Pharisees and told them the things which Jesus had done.
Some had no faith at all. They went away, told the chief priests and Pharisees, who in turn began to conspire against Jesus.
We are left with three questions:
1)
Who
was mom?
Mom was well respected and loved. She
cared more for others than herself. She showed this love in her actions. We’re
commanded in the Bible to honor older people, but people earn respect. We
gratefully honor mom and we understand what she did to earn that respect.
Mom wasn’t known for being a great
singer, or speaker, but her actions spoke for themselves. They taught others
the right thing to do. She was true to her word and never gave up on a person.
She was a woman with a ‘wooden spoon’ because she cared and loved deeply.
And Who gave her that strength? I believe it could only be the Savior she knew personally.
She overlooked the faults of others. She
so highly cared for and loved those who had the privilege of seeing it. Some of
us, more than others. She gave me the best gift this world has given me and I
see her in Lorena. She showed us how to die in peace, because she lived with a
purpose.
Purpose in life. Assurance in death. No
wonder she was looking forward to heaven.
I hear dad used to tell his kids that Mother’s Day wasn’t just to be one day a year; likewise, faith wasn’t just on Sunday. It was real, it was personal (not loud) but a faith that showed in fruit:
a) like
forgiving from the heart
b) unconditional
love
c) going
the extra mile
d) being
a peacemaker
e) being
patient with confused, hurting people
f) Grace
in not meddling. I saw that in her relationship with me when I married Lorena.
g) being
forgiving, because Jesus had forgiven her
h) the
ability to see the potential in others
i) the
passion to have compassion - despite all
the things this world threw at her
Martine nailed it when she said in the
eulogy: She didn’t leave her faith at the door of the church when she left.
That was mom.
Mom realized her need for Christ. Do
you? I’m positive she would want you to know personally this same Jesus, not
the God of religion, but the giver of resurrection.
Mom was realistic. She knew she couldn’t
live in this body forever, so she was ready, willing and desirous of leaving
this world and being with her Lord.
2)
Question
number 2: Where is mom?
Her eulogy says that her body is in
Calverton, Long Island, lying right next to dad, BUT the real mom and the real
dad – their souls - are even closer together, with Jesus in Heaven. True,
there’s no marriage in heaven but loved ones DO see and interact with each
other in Heaven. To be absent from the body is to be present with the
Lord – 2 Cor. 5:8
I share this brief
story courtesy of the assistant pastor of the church I attend: ‘This word of encouragement is
also a word of warning. It still a word of encouragement because to be forewarned
is to be for armed. There are two kinds of death according to Lord Jesus: the
dead in Christ and the dead without Christ.
The youngest son, Alberto was not even interested in attending the service but in respect he showed, up standing at the end of the door. While the pastor spoke, Alberto the youngest son, is listening not only to what the pastor is saying but hearing what his father had said to him, “to you my son I will say good bye I might not see you again.”
There is also a word of warning for those who may die without having trusted Christ to take away our sins. The Bible says, ‘Today is the day of salvation. Today, if you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts’ – mom didn’t.
Today, in this service, when we’re taking time to remember mom, it
doesn’t have to be “good bye”. It can be “goodnight for now”
A story once told of a family in the Philippines about a father who is dying in
the hospital. He requested a private meeting with his family.
The father begins with a word of
encouragement to his wife who is also a believer, ‘To you, I will say
goodnight. Remember, I am just sleeping. Someday at the coming of the Lord
Jesus, I will see you again. So, good night.
Then, to his eldest son named Alfonso
who was also a believer , he said the same thing: ‘My eldest son Alfonso, to
you I will say goodnight my son, I will see you again. For the meantime take
care of our family and your young sister and brother.
Then the father turned to his daughter
Erlinda who was also a believer and he said to her, “to you my lovely daughter
I will also say goodnight. I will see you again. I will be away temporarily.
Then he turned to his youngest son,
Alberto. His face become so sad and he said, “to you my youngest son Alberto,
to you I say good bye. I might not
see you again. You have heard about faith in the Lord Jesus but you have
rejected Him. Yes, you are religious, but you do not have a personal
relationship with Jesus, So to you, I cannot say goodnight but goodbye my dear
son.
To make the story short, the father died. They had a service in the funeral home just like we're having right now, except that the father's body was placed before the gathering.
The youngest son, Alberto was not even interested in attending the service but in respect he showed, up standing at the end of the door. While the pastor spoke, Alberto the youngest son, is listening not only to what the pastor is saying but hearing what his father had said to him, “to you my son I will say good bye I might not see you again.”
Before the pastor closed the service in prayer he invited those who had not personally
trusted to do so. Alberto from the very end of the room ran toward his father
and said with tears from his eyes, “Father, no more good bye, just goodnight. I
want to see you again, no more good bye just goodnight.” Alberto trusted the
Lord Jesus as his Lord and Savior.
Would mom say to you goodnight or good
bye? The Lord Jesus died but did not remain dead. After three days he rose
again from the dead aking the penalty of
our sins, so that to those who trust in him, though they die physically , yet
they can live eternally in Heaven.
God never condemned anyone to Hell. Most
of us know John 3:16: He so loved us that he sent His only Son Jesus so
whosoever (YOU, perhaps) should not perish but have eternal life.
There is also a word of warning for those who may die without having trusted Christ to take away our sins. The Bible says, ‘Today is the day of salvation. Today, if you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts’ – mom didn’t.
Eulogy by Martine Kruger
Lura Faye Myers was born on Wednesday, February 14, 1923 in Gainesville, Texas. She was the daughter of Lorena and SC Myers. She had three brothers Floyd, SC, Jr (Buster), Carl (Cotton), and two sisters, Mary and Martha. We have 90 years to cover so be patient.
The family grew cotton and raised dairy cows and chickens, while SC worked for Southern Pacific Railroad. Lura Faye told stories about doing chores and picking cotton. They attended a very small school house as kids.
Lura Faye was known by several names as the years went by. She was called Luke, a nickname given to her by some local children while playing ball one day.
During her childhood Lura Faye had attended a Baptist Church where she was taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She soon realized she was a sinner in need of a savior. Her faith blossomed and grew and she was baptized. She often spoke of the pastor who baptized her.
After graduating from Era High School she went to live with her Aunt Vera and Uncle Joe so she could help take care of their twin sons. She also worked in a deli for a while.
When Lura Faye was 20 years of age she enlisted in the US Navy, where her nickname was “Tex.”
Lorena and SC had four out of their six children serving in the armed forces during WW2. While in the Navy, she repaired airplane engines.
There she met a handsome sailor named Einar Hoel, whose job it was to do bodywork on the planes. He may have also sorted the mail, we’re not sure.
After the war was over, she went to “Beauty School” and soon became a beautician at Charlotte’s Beauty Shop in Houston.
This is when Lura Faye dropped the “Lura” and became known as “Faye.” A while after the war ended, Faye and Einar got back in touch with each other and Faye took a train trip to New York to visit him and his family.
Soon after that they were married by the same minister who had baptized her years before.
Now a young married couple, Faye and Einar relocated to Whitestone, New York. They owned a hardware business in Jackson Heights, Queens. Several years later they began their family and between 1952 and 1968 they had five children – Martine, Lorena, Floyd, Darwin and Laurel. Now she was known as “Mom.”
In 1954 they moved to Elmont, New York, where Dad and Uncle Berger had built us a home. We lived right next door to our Aunt, Uncle and cousins – the Hansen Family. Now Mom had acquired another name, “Aunt Faye.”
Mom was a homemaker and Dad was a contractor. Mom also continued to give perms and haircuts to our friends and neighbors.
Mom and Dad attended Franklin Avenue Baptist Church with all of us during our childhood years.
Mom was a tireless worker there, teaching Sunday school, working as a guide in Pioneer Girls, heading up the infant nursery, working with Women’s Missionary Fellowship, White Cross and volunteering at VBS.
Among other gifts, Mom had the gift of hospitality. We always had someone living or staying with us – uncles, cousins, or grandparents. Many Sunday evenings the house was a place where families would come and enjoy conversation, a cup of coffee and Mom’s delicious pound cake.
Neighbors always dropped by for a chat and cup of tea in the afternoon. After Mom retired to Texas in 1986 she was asked what she missed most about Elmont. She said, “Having tea with my friends in the afternoon.”
Mom also had many hobbies – gardening, ceramics and sewing, to name a few. When we were young Mom made most of our clothing, some included matching outfits for our dolls. She took care of us, the house, the cooking, shopping, cleaning and on top of that she took charge of the pool maintenance during the summer so we could all go swimming.
We were always welcome to have our friends over to the house and we took advantage of that. Sleepovers, pool parties, dinners, breakfasts, birthdays, and ballgames in the street were the norm in our house.
She did not leave her faith at the door of the church when she left. She prayed with us, read to us from the Bible, and lived her life to back up what she was saying. She helped her neighbors.
One day by accident we discovered Mom had been feeding the shut ins of the neighborhood and no one knew it! My friends would come to mom for advice instead of their own mothers.
In 1960 Mom and Dad took in a foster child named Ronnie Swenson. Since Ron was over 12 years old he had the choice to be adopted or go into foster care. He chose the latter. Later on his dad remarried and Ronnie went back to live with them. He has mentioned to us that he often wished he had been adopted by Mom and Dad because he feels his life would have had a better outcome.
One of the most exciting adventures we had was our infamous road trip from New York to Texas with Aunt Martha in 1963. Mom didn’t have her driver’s license at the time. Aunt Martha was pregnant with Melissa but still managed to do all the driving. Dad and Uncle Jack had to work so they didn’t come down until the end of August.
So there we were - two women and five kids in a station wagon barreling down the highways of Middle America. I remember Trisha serenading us with choruses of “Miss Mary Mack,” Darwin and I taking turns getting car sick, and Floyd and Lorena learning how to be back seat drivers. We did a lot of fun things that summer and Aunt Martha helped us make the scrapbooks to prove it.
Growing up we made many trips to Texas, enjoyed vacations in New Hampshire, went camping in New Jersey and Upstate New York, took many day trips to Greenwood Lake, Montauk Point, Point Lookout Beach and Salisbury Park.
Mom loved to host garage sales and soon got the nickname “The Garage Sale Queen.”
Somewhere during 1984-85, Mom acquired a new name “Grandmother.” And what a grandmother she was!
Sam Levinson once said, “Do you know why grandparents and grandchildren have such a close bond? They have a common enemy!”
She loved all her grandchildren, whether by birth, adoption or marriage, it didn’t matter, she loved them all the same. She appreciated all they did for her too – remembering her with a card for different occasions, regular phone calls, stopping by to say hello, writing letters, or visits to the grandchild’s home.
In 1986 it was time for retirement. The decision was made. Mom and Dad would move to San Antonio in order to be near Grandpa, who was 84 at the time. The Elmont home was put on the market and sold and the household goods were packed and ready to be moved. But things did not go as planned.
In August 1986 Dad had his second heart attack which proved to be fatal. Dad was buried at Calverton National Cemetery in Long Island, New York.
Though in mourning, Mom made the decision to carry out the retirement plans alone. Laurel had already begun attending college in Texas and Floyd and Darwin had just decided to relocate to San Antonio so Mom went to Texas, moved in with her Dad and had Floyd, Darwin and Laurel not too far away.
As time went on Grandmother spent a lot of time watching the dang grandkids, trying to keep Grandpa in line and still was able to find time to be involved in Waves National, even accompanying them on conventions around the country. Grandmother collected Roadrunners of all kinds and one of her new hobbies in retirement was travelling the state of Texas taking photos of every county court house in the state!
Mom didn’t drive until she was in her forties. One of her first driving lessons ended quickly as the car ended up in Grandpa’s front lawn, barely missing his mailbox.
Her last driving experience ended similarly when she flew out of the driveway, sideswiping Darwin’s car and once again ended up on the lawn. Much to her dismay, her keys were taken away from her that day and she never let us hear the end of it.
Shortly after Grandpa died, Mom moved in with Floyd in Universal City where she stayed for ten years.
During that time it was agreed that Mom needed more attention so after much consideration she began to attend Autumn Winds Retirement Lodge Adult Day Care Program in Schertz, Texas. She loved going to this beautiful place where she could enjoy talking with the other seniors and the staff of Autumn Winds, doing crafts, trips and other activities.
In 2011 Mom decided she needed to live with a female so she announced she was moving to New Jersey. We didn’t believe her! But it was true. Mom moved in with Lorena, Dean and Jeremy in Union, New Jersey, where she remained for the last two years of her life.
While living there she enjoyed attending church, reading, putting together her photo albums, watching TV, shopping and visiting with people. Lorena was her primary care-giver and Mom appreciated all her hard work and all the sacrifices she, Dean and Jeremy made in order for Mom to live with them.
Lura Faye, Luke, Faye, Mom, Aunt Faye, Grandmother all rolled into one person. On July 9th, 2013 Grandmother passed away peacefully at her home in New Jersey. On July 12 she was buried next to her husband at Calverton National Cemetery on Long Island.
Ronnie's Story
It was the summer of 1959 and my mother died of cancer. My father was an alcoholic and could not take care of me and my brothers Bobby and Johnny. My Uncle Joe was a recovering alcoholic and was attending Franklin Avenue Baptist Church.
He let the congregation know of my fathers plight. Two families stepped up to the plate and offered to take me and my brothers in as foster children, the Hoel and Doxsey families.
The Doxsey family could only afford to take 2 and I being the oldest went to the Hoel family. It was the night of January 19th, 1960 that my father took me to the circus and then said his goodbys. We spent our last night together at my Aunt June's in Lynbrook. The next day I was scared to death as my Aunt June drove me to Elmont to begin living with the Hoel family. I was being seperated from my brothers after just losing my mother and was very traumatized.
I remember my first impression of Aunt Faye was how pretty she was. She quickly made me relaxed and comfortable in my new surroundings. I remember she bought me a model airplane that I put together and Uncle hung it in my bedroom.
She gave me love and stability at a very critical time in my life. I will always cherish the 2 1/2 years that I spent with the Hoel family.
Music Videos shown at the memorial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnLOBwRbg_M
I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin (with lyrics)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa8w7mGug0c
Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) - Chris Tomlin (with lyrics)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbe7OruLk8I
Texas Granny by Kenneth Edward Kruger
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXjDQ3FTrtI
Some photos from the memorial
Moms well behaved grandchildren
and great-grandchildren
AND...
Mom was a WAVE. What's that??
"Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service"
27,000 strong!
Check it out: http://www.blitzkriegbaby.de/waves/waves2.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navy_WAVES
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